Motivation Part 2: External vs Internal

A couple weeks ago I wrote about motivation. Specifically, what drives motivation? How can we increase motivation in someone, or in ourselves? And where does motivation come from? Is it something that can be given or done to a person externally? Or is it something that comes solely from within?

In that post I argued that real motivation is intrinsic. It comes from within, and there is little you or I can do to truly motivate another person to do something they are not presently motivated to do. We can inspire them, challenge them, and encourage them. But they will not put forth the kind of "motivated" effort you want them to unless they create that motivation deep within themselves.

After reading that blog post, several people asked me about external motivators and their value in helping a person to create a deeper, internal motivation. Those questions provided some really great dialogue and contemplation for me. So, in this post I want to make a few observations about those "external" motivating factors, their value in sports and life in general, and how they can actually help lead us to the path of being more internally motivated.

The first observation about external motivators is that they are temporary. They are good for moments, but rarely last long-term. How many times have we gone to conferences and heard speaker after speaker present to us the best of what they do... we write everything down and make notes of what we want to immediately implement in our own context... we're pumped... we're motivated! Then we get back home and start trying to implement those new and improved ideas, or we try to live and behave differently, just as we determined we'd do while at the conference... only to find ourselves, in a few short weeks, right back in the same old routines we'd always had.

What happened? We were SO motivated while at the conference. Why didn't it last? Because, if we're honest with ourselves, it was only external. It didn't transfer to the deepest part of who we are, to that place where we determine the kind of person we want to be. Our soul. Our person! That's where we have to go... if we TRULY want to understand motivation.

External motivation is like putting a fresh, new coat of paint on a house that is crumbling under its foundation. Sure, it might look nice for a bit. It feels like we really did something to make a great change. But it's only superficial. And it won't take long before it wears off and the same old problem rears it's ugly head.

External motivation is focused on DOING. Internal motivation is focused on BEING. External motivation says, "This is what I want you to DO." Internal motivation says, "This is who I know you can BE."

There's the difference... BEING vs DOING. I don't just want you to DO something... play hard, lift weights, lose weight, gain muscle, get faster, hit harder, throw harder, get smarter, love better, make better choices... do this, and do that.

I can do everything in my power to try to inspire someone to DO all those things. And they may actually do them, for a time. But the key is to inspire them to CHANGE who they are, so they will BE the kind of person that makes all of those things an essential part of their life.

True motivation is connected to making the BIG choices about your life. Asking, what kind of person do I want to be? What kind of player do I want to be? What kind of coach do I want to be? What kind of parent do I want to be?

When I have made up my mind about WHO I WANT TO BE... the kind of person I am determined to be... then internal motivation for that determination is what will drive my daily habits. When I am determined to be the BEST version of ME that I am capable of being, then that changes my routines. I don't need AC/DC and Thunderstruck to get me fired up for that. Sure, that might help energize me along the way... but eventually the song ends. Eventually that fired-up feeling burns out. Then what do I look to for motivation to keep me going?

Well, if there are no more external motivators available to give me that "feeling" I need in order to keep going, then I guess I'm done. But, if my motivation is based on the deep, intrinsic desire of WHO I am determined to BE... then nothing can stop me! It will be my way of life!

How many of us have ever gone on a diet in January because we wanted to lose weight and look better for the beach vacation we are planning to take in July? I'll raise my hand. I've done that. So, on those journeys, what is your motivation? A date on the calendar. The vacation begins July 15, so I have six months of motivation. Perhaps, to add a little more external motivation, you post to your mirror an old picture of yourself from a time when you were fit and thin. A reminder... this is what I used to look like; I want to look like that again.

So what happens? We eat certain foods and avoid other foods... based on those motivators. We cut sugary drinks and desserts and snacks... based on those motivators. We start exercising... based on those motivators.

What are the motivators again? Vacation date and a reminder of what I look like when I'm in shape.

While we are on this journey, we feel like we are very motivated... and we are, but it's just external. It's not internal. How do I know that? Because, what happens once we reach the vacation date and we finally look somewhat like that old thinner picture of ourselves? All too often, we go back to eating poorly, or not as disciplined as we once were. And the exercise routine, which was once very important to us when we were "motivated" to lose weight, all of a sudden isn't as important anymore and is being pushed out of our daily habits by other things that have suddenly become more important to us. Why? What happened?

What happened is our external motivations are no longer present and driving us.

So, we either need to continually stack up more and more and more external motivators (which can be exhausting, and eventually they lose their luster anyway)... or, we need a deeper motivation. We need a LIFE CHANGE.

We need to determine that we are going to be the kind of person that intrinsically believes that exercise is more valuable than Netflix (or any number of other time-wasting things we could substitute for doing what's best for us). We need to determine that we are going to be the kind of person that is not driven by WANTS and momentary desires, but instead we are driven by what we know we NEED and will give us the best outcomes. That motivation changes the way you eat... for LIFE... not just until the July vacation.

See the difference? External motivation is fine... for something you just want to accomplish in the moment. But if you want lasting accomplishment, it needs to be deeper.

External motivation is a one-hit wonder. Internal motivation is The Beatles. It keeps producing and it keeps you getting better, for a lifetime.

You can get a team externally motivated for a game, and they'll produce better than normal results in that game. But a team that is internally motivated will give you a championship season.

A team that is externally motivated says, "This is what we are going to DO today." But a team that is internally motivated says, "This is who we are and this is what kind of team we are going to BE every day." And that motivation not only begins a lot sooner than game day, but it also continues long after those players are gone. It builds a winning culture and creates greater expectations for those who will come along after them. It is such a strong and deep-rooted motivation, that when adversity hits, they don't budge or panic or lose their confidence. They face it and keep moving forward, barely sidetracked from keeping their eyes on their goals.

Do you want to plant seeds for internal motivation in your team and your players? Begin asking them who they want to BE. The kind of person they are and how they go about their daily, personal habits will always translate to the playing field in the same way. Who they are every day of their lives is who they will be on the field (by the way, the same goes for you, Coach... Dad... Mom). We can't just magically become something we aren't. That's the lie of external motivation. Sure, we can pretend for a while. But eventually, WHO we are will always rise to the surface and show itself.

So, if we want to be better, we need LIFE change. We need to go to the deepest root of who we are. When life change drives our habits and routines, they will last much, much longer.