Call Me Coach

There is perhaps no greater bond than that of a coach and his players.

I've been called a lot of names (probably more than I even realize, haha). Most people call me Chris. My kids call me Dad. Friends in school called me Stewie, and a few even called me Stewjie. I've been called Mr. Stewart. I've been called Pastor, Preacher, Teacher, and even Reverend.

One of my favorite names that I have been called over the years is "Coach." There are many reasons for this, and what I am about to contend is that there is perhaps no more important person on the planet today than COACH. Let me explain.

Former NFL 1st round draft pick, Perry Tuttle, says that "coaches today are the fishermen of Jesus' day." What a powerful statement! Jesus actively sought out and chose 12 men to be his disciples. Many from among the first of those chosen were fishermen. They were chosen because they could be trusted to carry out and pass along the life-changing message that he came to give the world. Today, coaches are the most likely people to impact and bring clarity to the most important issues of life, if they are intentional and if they know that is indeed the most significant aspect of their role.

In today's world, I believe every person needs a coach. Every person needs someone in their life who plays the role of "coach." There are a number of reasons why this is more important now than ever, in my opinion. The world has changed significantly over the past 30 years, and these changes make the role of coach even more crucial than ever. What changes am I referring to? Let's narrow it down to four main areas*:

(1) Changes in FAMILY life. In the past 30 years, the make-up and the functionality of "family" has changed tremendously. One result of the many changes we have seen in the family is that the roles of mentorship, leadership, coaching (helping bring people along in things they need to know in order to be successful in life) is simply not as present as it used to be. It requires so much time, effort and energy... and the typical modern family just doesn't have enough. It takes a lot of time and investment in order to build the kind of trust that creates the bond required to have input and influence in one another's lives.

So many distractions are available to us today. There is much more access to information, and so much of that information isn't even accurate or just creates more confusion. Today we have more "peer raising" and "social media raising" than parent-raising. It's one of the byproducts of all our devices and social media connections. And it has become one of the biggest impacts on family life. There is so much constant contact and access to peers through devices and social media, that today's children are in more contact with peers than they are parents. If that's the case, who is really raising our kids? Who really are the ones helping them to work through life's biggest problems and questions and conflicts and decisions?

(2) Changes in CHURCH life. Over the past 30 years we have seen significant change in the ways people practice their faith. Back in the day, if you were part of a local congregation and you missed a Sunday morning service, someone from the church would give you a call to ask you if you're okay. Today's world has what we know as the "mega-church." Even churches that are smaller still tend to function with a mega-church mentality. Sadly (and I confess that even my church is guilty of this), the main church structure today does not provide the same level of mentorship and coaching that it used to (in the church, mentorship and coaching is known as "discipleship").

How does this play itself out in day-to-day life among people of faith? Basically, churches today may be really good at bringing people in, but at the same time they are filled with people who are immature, untrained and ungrounded in their faith. Thus the reason why so many people today fail to give a good representation of their faith or what the church stands for.

So, we seem to be losing mentorship and coaching aspects from FAMILY life, and we're losing it from CHURCH life. We're also losing it from...

(3) Changes in COMMUNITY life. Towns and neighborhoods are especially different today than they were 30 years ago. Growing up, I knew all of my neighbors, those up and down both sides of my street. Today, if a person knows his neighbors he's considered a really outgoing person. I had neighbors watch over me for a couple hours at a time when I was growing up, and neighbors who would stop by and sit on the porch and talk. Many houses today don't even have porches! We have decks. Porches are in the front of a house, where the whole neighborhood can have conversation. Decks are in the back, where only the invited can participate.

We really have to work hard today to have conversations. Community life no longer provides those natural avenues for dialogue and for wisdom to be passed down from generation to generation. Mentorship and coaching is simply absent from normal community life today.

(4) Changes in WORK life. In so many fields of work today, the path to professional careers isn't as strenuous as it used to be. Many years ago there were apprenticeships, where you learned the various skills that you desired to have to build your profession. It took quite a bit of time. After some years of training under a master craftsman in order to learn that trade for yourself, you could perhaps begin your own company. Today, all you need is a truck and a paintbrush and you can be considered a painter. If you own a Skilsaw, you're a contractor! You can get a real estate license and BOOM you're a realtor. You may not have any skill or talent to be able to sell property, but you can have a business card and a license. Today, it seems like anyone with a cell phone can be a movie producer!

We live in a world where everything is instantaneous. No need for training, no need for mentorship, discipleship, or coaching. What has happened is, anyone and everyone can take on these assumed roles in society today... but few are actually PREPARED for any of these roles.

Family life, church life, community life, and work life has all changed significantly in the last 30 years. We see it in all areas of life today. People have not been trained, they've not been coached up, and so they are just out there, giving it their best go at it... a world full of novices. To make matters worse, we are living in an incredibly complicated time in the world today, from the standpoint of a person's well-being internally, mentally and emotionally.

The overwhelm of life, the over-stimulation of life, media and influences, and the intense speed of everything creates a serious lack of interaction and contemplation, which means we are ill-prepared for the challenges, trials and troubles of today's world and life. These are some of the greatest reasons why everyone needs a COACH today and why COACH may be the most important person on the planet today.

Kenny Chesney recently wrote a very touching song titled, Coach. The chorus goes like this:

You were a teacher, a preacher

A mother, a father A lot less taker than giver A keeper of secrets And constantly making Believers out of quitters For all of your time And your heart and your soul You deserve a lot more than a toast But here's to you, and thanks again

We'll never forget you coach

For those of you who take on the role of "coach," please take a moment to contemplate the depth of influence that your role is going to have on the people you are leading and mentoring. There is SO much more going on, every day, than just X's and O's and instruction in the game.

It has been said that a picture is worth a thousand words. When I look at the picture at the beginning of this article, I can tell you that it is worth so much more to me than just a thousand words. In fact, I still have difficulty looking at that photo without my eyes welling up with tears. It was taken shortly after the last game of our 2017 season. The last game I would ever again coach my son. The last game in which that particular senior class and I would be on the field together, after being together since they were 8 years old. The last game of an incredible season – undefeated League champions, Sectional champions, District champions, and one game away from a State semifinal appearance.

A lifetime of coaching... and this photo was taken the moment we all realized it was complete.

I LOVE that photo. It represents a snapshot of the kind of coaches our boys had. Men who loved them. Men who poured their lives into them. Men who actually valued the relationships they had with their players. Men who did everything they could to train those boys in how to be respectful, wise, strong, successful men of their own.

Maybe a fraction of the emotions you see in the photo were because we had lost the Regional Championship game. Perhaps that was part of it. But for me (and I suspect for all those boys and coaches), it was much more than that. It was appreciation. It was respect. It was love.

Guys, that's what coaching is about. LOVING people. And loving them enough to give them what they need most. If we miss those opportunities, then we aren't coaching. We are just instructors of a game. But a COACH provides an equal balance of love and accountability, teaching discipline and instilling wisdom every day that you are together.

It's the most important role on the planet. In an ever-changing world, one constant can be "Coach." Do not ever take that for granted!

* Four big areas of change in the world, from The Brian Buffini Show #34