Quick To Listen, Slow To Speak, Slow To Anger

I've recently begun recording a weekly podcast update for the church that I minister with, Oasis Church in Athens. This morning I uploaded an episode that speaks to the hot argument that so many in our culture seem to be caught up in at the moment. So, if you don't mind, I am going to veer off the path just a little with this one blog post, and provide my readers with a little closer glimpse into my heart and how it beats. This post has nothing to do with baseball, but I am guessing something in it will strike a chord with most of those who read this blog (because I am guessing it is a high percentage of people who pay attention to sports).

Also, I will let you know that what I have written is very similar (almost a transcript) of what I recorded in the podcast, so if you would prefer to listen, simply click on the link in the paragraph above to download or stream the 13-minute podcast episode.

Let me begin by saying this. I recognize that some of you who will read this post or listen to the podcast have strong convictions on one side or the other. I know you do, because I have seen your social media posts. I have very good friends, both inside the church and outside the church, who strongly support the protests. Likewise, I have very good friends, both inside the church and outside the church, who very strongly express disdain for the protests.

For that very reason, it is never easy for me to want to weigh in on things like this, because I genuinely love all of these people and the relationships we have with one another. Also, sometimes you feel like it doesn’t matter what you say, you’re just going to end up throwing more fuel on someone’s fire and then make things even worse. However, it has been on my heart and mind for a few days to share. And I sincerely pray that these words may bring healing and a renewed desire for reconciliation and especially a desire to be "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger" (James 1:19).

I don't know if you are anything like me, but whenever I read, watch or listen to anything related to this issue... why do I feel such pressure to choose a side? The way thoughts and opinions are presented, it's as if one position is completely righteous while the opposite position is completely evil.

Why do I feel like I need to be careful to not affirm or agree with anything that is said on either side out of fear of being cast into one of those camps and then becoming polarized from people that I love and care about? The converse is also true. I dare not speak any amount of disagreement in either direction because then I risk being hurled over into the other camp... whether I belong there or not... whether I want to be there or not.

Let me be emphatically clear on this point. I don't want to be in either of the camps I am seeing in my social media feeds. I don't fully belong in either camp.

There has become somewhat a phenomenon in the world we live in, and it manifests itself in more than one context of life. What I am talking about is this... there seems to longer be any difference in our culture between "disagreeing" and "hating." It's very difficult to disagree with someone about anything these days without becoming labeled as one who hates, even if that disagreement is expressed in love and with grace. There is pressure to put away your own convictions on certain things and never disagree, because if you do you are in essence being hateful. Where did that come from? Is it no longer possible to truly love someone and also disagree with some aspect of their life, their choices or behaviors? I sure hope that's still possible, because I know not everyone in this world agrees with me 100% of the time. I sure hope grace abounds in disagreement and love is possible!

The fact is, these two phrases: "I don't agree..." and "I hate..." are NOT synonymous. They do NOT mean the same thing.

It's like we live in a world of what I will call imposed hyperbole. Whenever we say something, anything, whether we mean it at its most extreme, exaggerated overstatement level or not, it tends to get taken to the most extreme, exaggerated overstatement level whether we want it to or not. Thus, people impose upon you, your words, your convictions, something that actually does not represent you or who you are at all.

Here's true statement. Are you ready for this?

It is possible to support someone with whom you disagree. It is possible to love, care for, be kind to, serve with... someone who stands in the complete opposite place of your personal convictions in life, politics, or whatever. It IS possible. Not only is it possible, I would suggest that it is essential. And right now perhaps more than ever.

How is this done? Practically, how can I love those on both sides without being seen as wishy-washy, a fence-sitter, or spineless?

Before I answer that question, may I make a bold observation about human nature? What upsets and stirs us up the most reveals what we value the most. Maybe we should take a moment to pause and check our hearts, because the heart is the "wellspring of life, out of which everything else flows" (Proverbs 4:23). In other words, the heart represents your soul, and it is where you store the things that are most meaningful to you. We are told to be on guard of our hearts, because whatever is stored in that space does indeed manifest itself in times of tension, adversity, or conflict.

You see, in this "take a knee" conflict, some are upset because they feel like the act of taking a knee during the national anthem spits in the face of the many who have sacrificed and/or died to defend their freedom. Others are upset because racial oppression and hatred continues to be a very real concern and problem in the United States.

I get both sides. I truly do. I'm not suggesting that I fully understand both sides. I can't fully understand both sides. But I hear what they are saying, and I am willing to listen.

I have been drawn to a particular passage in the Bible, which is the foremost authority for anyone who claims to be a Christian in terms of how we should live and interact with people. There is a verse in Romans 12:15 that says, "weep with those who weep." The entire verse actually says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."

But... but God, what if I am vehemently against the cause for which people are weeping?

That is a very real tension and point of awkwardness for us. The context in which that statement in Romans is made is, the apostle Paul is commanding the Roman church to "weep with those who weep" along with an entire list of other commands that are spelled out in chapters 12, 13, and 14 of the book of Romans. And you know, every command in that section of Romans falls into the context of how Christians are to interact with people. Particularly, how Christians are to respond to people they disagree with.

Then, in Romans chapter 15 Paul explains the purpose for these commands. he says, "May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Jesus Christ, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."

To bring that closer to home, today... as a Christian, I am to "weep with those who weep" and if you are a Christian, then you are to "weep with those who weep." And when we are all doing this, we will together with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

The implication of that verse is that when we fail to do this, we accomplish the opposite... we do not glorify God. And thus, we do not accomplish the purpose for which we were created and put on this earth (Isaiah 43:7).

Weeping with those who weep does not require you to agree, understand, or even know anything at all about what they are going through. There really isn't much more clarification to that verse other than to simply "weep with those who weep."

Let's think back to Proverbs 4:23, keep a close eye on what is in your heart, because out of your heart flows everything else about your life... who you are, what you stand for, what upsets you, what you care about most. Do you know what the very next verse says? Proverbs 4:24 says, "Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious (divisive, disunifying) talk far from you."

Have you been tempted to speak a little too freely on these issues?

Have hateful and angry opinions just rolled right off your tongue? Or your hands on the keyboard?

Were you too quick to jump into the comment section of whatever social media post set you off?

If so, go back to verse 23, and diligently guard your heart.

Opinions are very strong right now. Standing. Kneeling. Tweeting. Posting memes. They all just seem to be creating a lot of noise, and that noise just ends up turning into divisive, corrupt talk. It's like being in a room where two people are shouting opposing views back and forth at the same time... neither taking a breath... neither pausing to listen to the other... and so it just gets louder and louder until all you have is empty noise.

What can be done? If you're anything like me, and you don't agree with everything on the left and you don't agree with everything on the right, but you want to respond in a biblical, Christ-honoring way to all the noise that is being made from both sides... here's something we can do: weep with those who weep.

Inside these issues there are some very real and deep questions that need to be addressed. There are conversations that need to take place, some will be complex. Imagine how much easier these conversations and dialogues will be when you are weeping right alongside the person with whom you disagree.

What upsets us the most reveals what we value the most.

I am not going to be forced to choose a side. But I am willing to listen. And I am much more compelled to take both knees... and PRAY.

+++ God, if any of us do not currently have this, I pray that You will place inside of our hearts the value of seeking first not our own interests, but the interests of others. I pray that above anything else... above a flag... above a protest... above a national anthem... or above any particular belief... that we would value Your glory above anything and everything else. And may the God of endurance and encouragement grant us to live in such harmony with one another, that we may with one voice glorify the God of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

P.S. I stand on the conviction that LOVE wins. Grace and mercy wins. In fact, James 2:13 says "mercy triumphs over judgment."