Goals and Habits... Are Related
"You SAY that you want to _____ (your goal), but the work that you're willing to put in is not going to get you to _____ (your goal). Right now you have habits that will never allow you to get to ______ (your goal). So, you either have to change the GOAL or you have to change the HABITS."
1) The message for coaches in the statement above is this... If you are not daily finding ways to get better in your communication, in your planning skills, in your understanding of the game you are coaching, in your own personal habits and work ethic, then you are not going to be able to impart the best possible coaching into your team and players. An old friend of mine once told me, "You cannot lead someone to where you have not yet been yourself." It's simply impossible. You can point and say "Go there," but that's not leadership. That's just giving directions.
Leadership is about "going first" and bringing people with you. If we demand from our players things like positive energy, but we are always pointing out the negative things in practice and in games and we seem angry all the time and run our practices with low energy and no fun, then we can't be surprised if that becomes the makeup and culture of our team. If we demand that our players be focused 100% on practice tasks and getting better during the 2-hour window of time they are at practice, yet we spend the first 20 minutes chatting with our assistant coaches instead of being engaged with our players, or we have failed to create a practice plan that will help them to be focused on our goals, then we can't be surprised when our team lacks focus and we are not the best we can be.
2) The message for our players and young people in the statement above is this... Your goals and your habits are absolutely and directly related and linked together. If you say that you want to be the best at your position that your school has ever seen, then your habits should reflect that you are putting in the kind of work that is required to become the best at your position, and that you are enlisting the help of coaches and others to provide feedback and knowledge on how to become the best at your position. If your goal is to play college ball, then there are some habits that need to be created that will help you to get to that goal. AND, there may be some habits in your life that need to be eliminated because they are going to be counterproductive in helping you reach that goal.
I had this conversation with my son, Brock, at the end of the summer before he began his senior year of high school. He had always spoken of how he wanted to play baseball in college, yet some of the habits that were in place in his life up to that point were not productive or helping him to reach that goal. Moreover, there were some habits he needed to begin and develop if he wanted that goal to be actualized and become a reality.
So, the first thing we needed to do was sit down and have an honest, soul-searching conversation. By the time he finished the summer ball season after his junior year, which is the main recruiting summer for college baseball prospects, he had little more than some brief contact with a few different college coaches. No offers. No serious interest shown at this point. And he was about to begin his senior year.
In the last week of July we sat down in the living room together, just him, his mother and me. I remember saying something like this, "We need to ask you a question, and we want you to know that you can be completely honest with us and you will not disappoint us either way. We will support you no matter what. Period." I then asked, "Do you still have the dream to want to play college baseball?"
He answered, "Yes, I do."
I followed it up, "Are you absolutely certain this is what YOU want. Not what you think I or your mom want you to do?"
(Now, at this point, let me pause for a moment to explain why these questions needed to be asked.)
The reason why these were important questions is because, at this point in Brock's life, his habits were not in line with his goals, if indeed his goal was to play baseball in college. He did still show some signs – he had a great high school season and played summer ball – but he needed to take his habits and behaviors to another level if he truly wanted to reach that goal. His diet and nutrition patterns had to change. He needed to get stronger. He needed to get faster. He needed to better his catching skills. He needed to strengthen his throwing arm. He needed to develop more hitting power. He needed to actively reach out to college coaches. He needed to get registered with the NCAA eligibility center. He needed to plan visits to colleges and prospect camps. He needed to draft emails that he would send to those coaches as follow-up after meeting with them or attending their camps. He needed to get his GPA up. He needed to take the ACT more seriously and raise his score.
There was A LOT more work that he needed to be doing, and that work was all directly related to and linked to the goal of playing college baseball. That is why those questions needed to be asked.
(Now, back to the story.)
Brock replied, with no hesitation, "Yes. I am fully confident that I want to play baseball in college."
So, our next step was to go over the list of things that I described above. I basically said, "Okay, now that we know for sure this is what you want, it's time to make sure that your habits and your behaviors are in line with what is going to get you to that goal."
Over the next few days he mapped out his plan, which included nutrition (he would buy a week's worth of food every Sunday afternoon and pre-cook all of his meals), strength and conditioning, hiring a speed trainer to work with him throughout the fall and winter, beginning a weighted balls and J-Bands™ program, reading books on positive motivation and leadership, contacting college coaches, scheduling visits and registering for prospect camps... and, he indeed raised his GPA and his ACT score.
Beginning in August of that year, I SAW a young man that really wanted to reach the goal of playing college baseball. I had always seen a young man that loved baseball and TALKED about wanting to play in college. But a transformation happened after that conversation in our living room. I could SEE the goal in action by his habits and the kind of work he was putting in.
You either have to change the habits, or you have to change the goal.
Every goal in life comes with a certain set of habits attached to it. And the harsh reality is that if we are not currently (months and years earlier) engaged in the kind of work and habits that our goals require, then we simply are not going to reach those goals.
Five months after committing to the work and habits that were required to be a college baseball player, Brock accepted a scholarship offer from NCAA DII Alderson Broaddus University to play baseball. Additionally, in his new lifestyle of committing to strength and conditioning he discovered a joy in researching and developing strength programs, and he was accepted to ABU's Exercise Science program.
How fulfilling it was to see that principle come to fruition. The truth about goals and habits lived itself out right in front of our eyes.
3) Finally, the message for ALL of us in the statement above is this... True leadership and coaching is about being able to communicate that truth and then show people how to make those changes.
Everyone has goals. Ask your players what their goals are. Write them down. Then list some of the habits and behaviors and work ethic that would naturally be required in order to make those goals become more than just words on a piece of paper. Too many people in this world, and especially in the world of sports, talk about their goals and ambitions more than they actually work toward their goals and ambitions. They need to stop posting pictures and quotes and memes about "the grind," and they need to actually start participating in THE GRIND.
Sit down with your team. Be very real with them. Ask them if they are interested in being the best they can possibly be. Ask if they want to compete for a championship. If they SAY that they do... first, make sure they really mean what they say. Because if they really mean what they say, then there will be some regular habits, fundamentals and reps that will be required of every single one of them, every single day... if they are going to be able to reach that goal.
Your team needs to put in the kind of work that is going to take them to the place where their goals are. If they don't choose to put in that kind of work (or if you don't plan it into your practices), then you have to change the goals.
You either have to change the habits, or you have to change the goals. Another way to put it... You do not decide your future. You decide your daily habits, and your daily habits decide your future. (Kevin Wilson, Morning Message)