Person First, Player Second

One of the hardest things for me about stepping away from coaching high school baseball for a period of time is revealed in something I said to the newspaper reporter after our last game. It's also the reason why I don't believe I'm done for good, but will be back in the dugout eventually. The quote went something like this:

I feel like I am just now beginning to learn how to coach, or at least I am just now learning what coaching is all about.

I have always felt like I had a decent grasp on being able to coach the game of baseball. And I have always felt like I know how to connect with young people and bring the game to life for them. And I have always known that coaching team sports provides a springboard for helping to develop life skills and build character.

However, I am just now beginning to realize the order of priority that the aspects of coaching should be in. Or at least, the order of priority that gets the most out of people in the long run. You see, for me it was always baseball (the game) FIRST, then person (life and character development) SECOND. Or, to put it more simply in a list format:

1. Coaching baseball (the game)

2. Coaching the player (the person)

As a coach, we know that our role is to teach the game, to make our players better at the skills of the game, and to coach our players up on how to play the game. AND, as a coach, we know that there are often opportunities to teach life skills through the game and recognize there are character-building moments, which we can then teach through the game.

However, those things are often an afterthought, a secondary facet of coaching. We focus on THE GAME and all the aspects of coaching the game – fundamentals, drills, mechanics, strategies, etc... and whenever something happens in a game or practice that gives us the opportunity to compare the game to life and teach a skill that will be valuable in all of life, we do.

And I want to emphasize that there's nothing wrong with that. Many really good coaches approach it that way.

But I have learned something recently, and in my opinion it has been the most valuable secret to coaching that I have ever learned to date. It has to do with reversing the order of those priorities that I listed above. Quite frankly, I have seen a major difference in the way a team performs when the priority of coaching is in this order:

1. Coach the person

2. Coach the baseball player

Person first, player second.

If I can help the person to get in a good place FIRST... a good mindset, good thoughts, good habits, good choices, good behaviors, good mentality, good approach... then an amazing thing happens. It becomes so much easier to get the baseball player to be where he needs to be in his skills development and in all other aspects of playing the game.

I expect to learn every day and to grow a little more every day. So far, what I've learned about coaching is that more than anything else, it is about mentoring. Which means, being a coach is about relationship. It's about loving the people you are leading... truly caring about their well-being... truly caring about who they are whenever they are not on the field with you... truly caring about who they are going to be in ten years. So what does this look like at the grass roots, day-to-day level?

If a player is in a good place as a person, then he is going to be in a good place as a player and as a teammate.

If he's making good and wise choices in other areas of life, then he's more likely to make good and wise choices on the baseball diamond.

If he's handling adversity and difficult situations in life with confidence, toughness and wisdom, then he is more likely to handle adversity and difficult situations on the baseball diamond with confidence, toughness and wisdom.

If he's standing up for the "least among us" in the school hallways and cafeteria and playground, then he's likely going to be a great teammate and leader of the younger, weaker players on the baseball diamond.

If he's working hard to be the best he can be in his classes, in his job, and in his family life, then he is more likely going to work hard to be the best he can be on the baseball diamond.

If he looks for ways to help people and inspire others throughout the normal day, then he is more likely to help make his teammates better and inspire people on the baseball diamond.

If he picks up garbage that he didn't drop or cleans up messes he didn't create throughout the normal day, then he is going to be the first to grab a rake and to pick up the dugout after practices and games.

If time is important to him and he's prompt throughout the day, then time is going to be important and he'll be prompt at the baseball diamond.

If being a good person in general and striving every day to be the best he can be is important to him, then you can be sure that will translate to the baseball diamond.

Get the picture?

Here's the thing, though. The flip side isn't always true. Just because a player works hard at baseball, doesn't always mean he's going to work hard in other areas of life... and so on and so forth.

Person FIRST. Player SECOND. Who you truly are in life will eventually show itself on the ball diamond. You can fake it for a while, but your true character will always rise to the top and show itself.

So, if I want to see long-term, deep and unending success in a player, then I need to reach beyond the surface level of just coaching skills in a game and find ways to help mold and shape his heart. In the book of Proverbs in the Bible, chapter 4, verse 23 it says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (NIV)

I trust in the wisdom of those words, and I have found that it is SO much easier to coach players in the skills of the game when the rest of their life is in a good place. And, the opposite (negative) of this is also true. You can always tell whenever a kid is struggling in life... making poor friend choices... making bad decisions... developing bad habits. Those things always carry over to the baseball diamond and have a negative impact on both the player and the team dynamic as well.

Finally, I want to say this. I share this secret with you not just to help you build the best team you can have on the field. But because I believe in helping people to be the best person they can be in all of life. This world needs good people, driven people who love life and are motivated to make it be the best it can be. That's the center of the mark. Baseball, competition, games... those things are all on the fringes and they are influenced by the ripple effects of hitting the center of the mark. Aim for the center of the mark in your coaching. In doing so, you will be most fulfilled and your players will be most successful!