Drink From The Water Hose Kids

A few years ago Coach Tony Robichaux of the Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns baseball team made a lot of noise on several social media feeds when he made this quote in a press conference regarding the kind of players he looks to recruit for the Ragin' Cajuns program: "We want guys who drink out of the water hose, not the guy whose mommy is bringing him a Powerade in the third inning."

Now, some of you likely read this quote and immediately thought of a defensive response. Before you go there in your mind, please allow me just a few lines to explain some context and to unpack the meaning behind this metaphor a little bit.

First, that's what it is... a metaphor. It is a hyperbolic statement that is meant to describe a general mindset, attitude, or ethic. It is NOT a statement about keeping kids hydrated or about consuming a beverage at all. If that is the only thing you see when you read it, then you are missing the point. Again, if you read the quote and think that it has ANYTHING to do with hydrating your players or about water or any other sports drink, then you are reading it wrong. If you think it has anything to do with disrespecting "mommies" or "daddies" or being unappreciative of their love and devotion to their kids, that too is not the focus.

If you are willing to consider it, let me help decipher the point of Coach Robichaux's statement. What he is describing is a mindset, which leads to a set of behaviors, which develops the character of a young man. In speaking with a lot of college coaches over the years, and in working in the Dean's Office of a higher education institution, I have heard the term "helicopter parent" used in conversation more than once. To define a helicopter parent – in sports or in multiple aspects of life – they are those who do tasks the child is capable of doing alone. For example: calling a professor about poor grades, arranging a class schedule, manage exercising habits. On one occasion, I was with a college coach who was talking to a high school player and the boy's dad was standing beside him. The college coach asked a question of the boy and dad answered it. Hence... "helicopter" parent.

It can happen at any age. As a toddler, a helicopter parent might constantly shadow their child, always playing with and directing the child's behavior, allowing them zero alone time, racing around the playground making sure they never fall. By definition, helicopter parents, at any age in their children's lives, typically take too much responsibility for their children's experiences and, more specifically, their successes or failures. Ann Dunnewold, Ph. D., a licensed psychologist and author of Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box calls it "over-parenting." She says, "It means being involved in a child's life in a way that is over-controlling, overprotecting, and over-perfecting, in a way that is in excess of responsible parenting."

Come back to Coach Robichaux's metaphor. The kids who "drink from the water hose" very likely do not have helicopter parents. Water hose kids are those who, at an early age, know what uniform they are wearing in tomorrow's game and know how to put it on themselves... know what all pieces of equipment they need for tomorrow's game and pack their equipment bag themselves... carries their own equipment bag to and from the field themselves (I see WAY too many moms and dads dragging equipment bags these days).

Do these kids fail sometimes? Absolutely! Because they are allowed to! They may leave their glove in the dugout from time to time, because mom didn't come in and pack up their bag for them. What a great learning experience it can be for a child to feel the sinking feeling in his stomach because he got home and discovered his glove is not in his bag. Time to problem-solve; another great life lesson! Too many kids are getting robbed of some very valuable life lessons because they are having too many responsibilities taken away from them.

Coach Robichaux is saying that he wants kids who have the ability to survive on their own. Again, the metaphor is not about hydrating or drinking water, but the principle can certainly apply: they know when they need a drink, and when they need a drink they know how to find one. Why? Because not everything in their life has been handed to them. They've had to solve some problems on their own along the way.

Let me be clear, I know helicopter parenting happens because of the immense amount of love you feel for your child, and because of your great concern for their well-being. My wife and I have both fought it in many different circumstances over the years. It's hard to not coddle. But we, as parents who love our kids more than we can possibly describe, have to figure out how to support them without pampering them. We have to be courageous enough to let them fail, and insightful enough to realize that great lessons and maturity come from failure.

In conclusion, let's get practical about this. Suppose you are a parent who comes into the dugout at the end of your child's game and helps them pack up their equipment and throw away their empty water bottles, and then you carry (or wheel) out their equipment bag and cooler for them. If so, here's a simple little step in the right direction for next game... don't do it. What possible harm can befall your child by letting him pack up his own gear and carry it out to the car? It's actually quite the opposite. Your child will take a step toward understanding the virtue of taking responsibility, which brings all sorts of benefits along with it, such as being a good teammate, being a good person, developing good work ethic, developing confidence, developing toughness and aggressiveness... all the things we want to see them have on the playing field.

Ironically, we don't realize how much we can help them as a player on the field by consciously making an effort to NOT help them with so many little tasks off the field. Give a boy a fish and you will feed him for a day. Teach a boy to fish and you will feed him for a lifetime.