Instead of This, Say This

Coaches (and dads or moms), something I have found to be transformational in players and teams is the difference in focusing on the POSITIVE versus focusing on the NEGATIVE. Some of us may feel like we are being positive and helpful when we are actually being negative (often unknowingly) and creating doubt in players' minds.

One of Jon Gordon's books is titled "The Positive Dog," and the idea behind the book is that we all have two dogs inside of us. One dog is positive, happy, optimistic, and hopeful. The other dog is negative, mad, sad, pessimistic, and fearful. These two dogs often fight inside us, but guess who wins the fight? The one you feed the most.

Which dog gets fed inside your kids throughout the course of the game? One way to make sure the POSITIVE dog is being fed is to understand the difference between positive words and negative words during the course of a baseball game. There are some words that we may think are positive, but they create negative visuals. For example...

"Don't walk this guy."

"Don't swing at bad pitches."

"Don't take a called third strike."

"Don't let anything get by you."

"Don't think too much, just have fun."

Some of those sound like good, positive advice. But the problem is the "negative word" in each of these phrases (which is often the first word or near the beginning of the phrase) ALWAYS sets the tone for what was intended to be an encouragement. Whenever a player hears a word with a negative connotation like "don't" their brain stops thinking positively and actually focuses on doing something wrong.

In baseball, we think visually. In fact, visualization is good. Skip Bertman, legendary coach from LSU, once said, "Everything happens twice. First in your mind, then in reality." What we think about is often what comes to fruition on the baseball diamond. Not always, but very often.

So, in the case of wanting to provide positive, encouraging coaching advice, what we have to do is imagine that the brain has no way of processing the NEGATIVE connotation words, which in the above examples would be the word "don't." If that's the case, then consider what is being visualized...

"Walk this guy."

"Swing at bad pitches."

"Take a called third strike."

"Let it get by you."

"Think too much."

The thoughts we are creating in our kids is the opposite of what we intend to create. This happens when we have become so used to phrasing things in the negative. Putting a negative thought in the player's mind, even if it is meant to be a positive, causes him to think about the bad result rather than the result you are hoping to achieve. For example, in saying "Don't let anything by you," we are simply reminding the infield of how important it is to keep the ball in the infield in order to keep the runner from scoring. But what if we phrase it more like this:

"Get on your belly right here."

"Get dirty on the ground ball."

"Lay out for one."

This past high school season I gave our catchers a sheet that had two columns of words or phrases, one was a list of what NOT to say to their pitchers, and the other was a list of what TO say. One was a list of "build up" words and the other was a list of "cut down" words. Sometimes we feel like we are building up a player, but the words we are using actually have a negative connotation. Here are some examples:

Instead of this: "Just throw strikes."

Say this: "Take a deep breath."

Instead of this: "Hit your spot."

Say this: "You're out there for a reason."

Instead of this: "Just let them hit it."

Say this: "Your defense wants the ball, they're behind you."

Instead of this: "Get ahead."

Say this: "Pound the zone."

Instead of this: "Find it. Make an adjustment."

Say this: "Trust yourself. It's in you."

And always be sure to include a lot of... "Atta boy!"